Friday, 28 January 2011

Distant Moon

Nice to be back!

After years of fruitless soul search, I found what was left of me through the pale opacity of her shining face.

The deepest unsatisfied desires of my wretched heart is brought to light by her gentle passive stature.

I look at the nightly dew falling upon the soft grass, I wake in light of her pale blue eyes that softly, so tenderly play upon the torn strings of a lonely instrument still waiting for its muse.

I imagine, my father before me still breathing and full of life, the clutter of sisters still fighting over the tiniest of things. I imagine myself not as lonely as now, still breathing and alive, over the death of friends and family I see the morning of tomorrow arrive.

the suns ray strikes the vanishing moon, so fast the night has past. I close the window and lay on my bed, thinking of what will become, I think of love which I have lost, the love I am yet to have. So often have I not loved and cherished the smallest things I have had, bound by the laws of society, sanity and sex I have lost myself  in the never ending riddle of life.  The constant thoughts of life and death seem to choke upon my sleep.

I am restless and wake, I open the window again, the vanishing lady smiles at me, saying I will you again.

Tuesday, 6 April 2010

To the Orphans

I am blogging after a really long time, it seems like its been ages since I last blogged.

I dont really know what thought do I write about, losing has so far been the name of game in my life,

There is nothing more dreadful or cynical in life than to lose your parents at an early age, harsh realities of life smack you on the face as if waking you up from a deep slumber.

There are so many choices given to you until you realize its all the same.

The old and the young all look out for whats best for you but in the end it really doesnt matter.

I am sorry I am guess I am not giving the reader all the philosophical bullcrap non-sense that I should be bestowing upon his or her mind, but excuse me if I am too cynical about all this.

A few year ago I was happy or at least I thought I was, the constant bombardment of false promises, unseen jealousy and unforgivable treachery finally takes it toll on the illusion of happiness.

I cannot seem to recollect any memory of my mother I wonder if that seems strange to you, I wonder if any of this makes any sense to you, I am just wonder what would you have done if you were in my shoes I wonder...

By end of this unusually baseless blog post I have come to realize that I have stopped making sense by the time I reached the middle of this post, but still am compelled by the forces of not blogging [for almost a year] to go on with my pointless blabber.

The people I grew up with were nice and kind loved me like a son, I failed them academically as well as financially, what else did I lose now?????

The one sister I had went to a different town, visits once a year..... what else did I lose???

The girl I loved left me for a better future.... damn it I cant seem to recall what I lost.

I guess I now live for what is to be gained from all that I lost like fire to ashes and ashes to fire, I can I gain?????

Monday, 20 April 2009


Its been a while since I blogged but what brings me back this time around is not any philosophical realization, it is a site that millions of people around the world have used.

The Pirate Bay, it is a site which provides torrents for many softwares, games, movies and music. Even though a sense of ethics causes out judgment to pass the verdict of "illegal" or perhaps "unethical" to the site I write this post on a very neutral note.

For years this site has benefited those who cant spend so much money on music, games and movies as some of the well to do people can. the not so privileged have often downloaded music and once they have liked may be they have gone to buy these musics from the store, they cant afford to buy just any music album that releases just to see if they are good enough, the site has benefited them thus.

People must now realize that the reason why "piracy" exists is because of lack cheap and available entertainment commodity [movies, music and software].

for some piracy is illegal but for some it is the only way to go.

Monday, 13 October 2008

Just Another Day without Rain

The Durga Pujas are over the people of my city now take revert back to their normal routine. But I look at there faces and see countless signs of restless night that they have spent during the festival.

The puja have been dry not much rain has transpired during the festivals...

I was with my sister this pujas my most dearest sisters, My strength and solace confined with the same person. She lives in mumbai and has planned to settle their.

On the 11th Oct 2008 4:30pm I left my sister at the kolkata airport. The sight of leaving and staring back at me waving her hand is a picture that always breaks my heart.

I left her there....

Oct 12th 2008 I am back again....

I am back to what I was as the night spreads its wings and casts its drowsy spell upon me I see my sister all alone in an unknown town staring at me as I walk away from her.

The Days Without love can be so hard, the constant loneliness and absence of the feeling of being protected leads to the demise of a man’s soul and sanity.

Maybe I am loosing my faith on the Optimistic way to life, but maybe that’s how its supposed to be.

Just as the scorching sun rises to light up 13 th October 2008 in the city of Kolkata I realize the day is just another day without love and without rain.

Sunday, 17 August 2008

Friendship Joy and Sorrow

Hello everyone, Today I realized that this world has many faces, this place is covered with patches of worthless humility, and endless pride, today I left my job actually I resigned, I thought what was I doing there what was I there for? Money is a very simple answer to that question,I walked about a mile or two as I walked I saw the tears of a lonely mother sitting by a street tea shop and washing the utensils, this place we live in is moved by the gears of money and among these gears innocence and innocent lives are battered and smashed.

A lonely child in the city of Joy longs for friendship just as I have wondered and pretended to look into the eyes of strangers to find a friend whom my simple heart could recognize, I found sadness, sorrow and sympathy.

Lost in this city of Joy, broken promises and untrodden ways I have found myself alone and desolate in places I dare not speak of.

I am boring thats my quality and by the time you have finished reading the first line of this posting I believe you have realized that.

I come home today to find that by the end of this month I will be bankrupt, I left my job only to find that the uncle on whom I relied lost his job today,
I thought maybe I will find some place to hide today, some place to find solace and I ran to place I that have always sheltered me and buried my loneliness, for sometime I found the place but I guess I lost it again, how many days have passed by I have not splet in peace, the cries of a mother's labor has kept me awake at night, I have dreamt of being born again in this world with perhaps a silver spoon and a golden cradle, but no I guess that was not to be, In the streets of my city a hundred people are awake looking out into the empty night street, they are beggars and homeless, I wonder if they dream of the same thing as I do?

The darkness crawls into the bedroom of my friend's place from where I am writing this post. He is asleep. I sit at his computer looking at the darkness of the night and I think I can hear something, O what is it I hear a cry, a sigh, or a teardrop in the silence of the cruel night, It wont let me sleep.

(Photographs Courtesy Flicker, or the responsible parties.)

Thursday, 14 August 2008

Kolkata : City Of Joy

I have lived my life in the heart of a city, a place were I have been since my birth this place has many memories of my life, and I cherish some of them. Calcutta is the city of Joy a place where Joy never seems to end the heartless realities of human life are trapped within the walls of Joy.

Hello everyone I believe since you have spent some precious time of your lives in reading my blog I think you should perhaps know my name by now, But even if you dont its fine. I am not going to bore you about myself I think I am a boring individual. Instead I will get back to wat this posting is all about.

I have lost my parents in this city when I was very young being brought by my uncle and aunty (who are almost like my parent) I have been sheltered from the realities which a orphan usually faces in a city like Calcutta. I have observed this city from behind the bars of my window and as the rain has swept clean the dirty streets water has often logged in populated places and caused a havok in my otherwise normal life. I remember once my house was flooded and as we all sat on the bed hoping to avoid the water the Heartless Fluid had risen to the levels of our abdomen and drenching me and the bed left me sick for almost a month.

Calcutta is a beautiful city, at night the city reveals its many forms, places like Sonagachi light up with the faces, and bodies that indulge in the oldest profession in the world, While places like Park Street lights up with young women and men already to party about 5 to 6 hours of there daily (practically not so useful) lives, the Winds of the sky change there course as more of this place is revealed deep inside a corner of a street a little cries of hunger, the tears are genuine you can see that its true but you do nothing but sympathize.

"Life goes on as it never ends, eyes of stone observe trends they never say, forever gaze" this is a line from one of my favourite songs by the Backstreet Boys. I have always liked there music.

Kolkata the name has changed, but you know its still the same city of Joy.

Friday, 8 August 2008


Raksha Bandhan: In the 21st Century

Origin: Indra's fight with Vritra - Indra, the king of devtas (gods), had lost his kingdom to the asura (demon) Vritra. At the behest of his Guru Brihaspati, Indra's wife Shachi tied a thread around her husband's wrist to ensure his victory in the upcoming duel.

The Friendly Knot
It won’t be wrong to say the fashionable friendship band in vogue today is an extension of the Rakhi custom. When a girl feels a friend of the opposite sex has developed a kind of love too strong for her to reciprocate, she sends the guy a Rakhi and turns the relationship into a sisterly one. This is one way of saying, "let’s just be friends", without hurting the other person's soft feelings for her.

Social Anomaly
Women society still needs her brothers to protect her from her husband or if she still looks at the face of brother to get help, this shows nothing but the lack of confidence & sense of inferiority complex caused by society only.

Conclusion and Question:
Raksha Bandhan what is its purpose it does not always signify the existence of a chaste relationship between two individuals of the opposite sex, Has it been reduced to jst a thread that is tied for namesake?

I ask this question to all What has Raksha Bandhan been reduced to in the 21st century?

Sir Bertrand Russell

"Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse; it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness which afflicts most men and women throughout the greater part of their lives."
-- Bertrand Russell

Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Lost And Found

Broken are the boundaries of sanity In the ocean of tears I drowned.

Life was good among humanity,

Ad mist the horror I found,

Love and Despair ruled my senses, I found no hope on ground

Serenity was lost with cries of children who died making the sound,

Illusions ignited a long lost heart with which I once was bound,

In sorrow I spoke her name and said she is lost but I am found.